


SAM AND GABRIEL AGAINST THE WORLD

by fluffy_miracle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Worlds, Angelic Grace, Angels, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Cage memories, Coda, Consensual Sex, Coping, Demons, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s13e17 The Thing, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Gabriel has PTSD, Head Space, Hell, How many different ways can I write this?, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, It Does Help, Light BDSM, Loss of Grace, Lots of Angst, M/M, Nephilim, Not Canon Compliant, PTSD, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Post-Episode: s13e17 The Thing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Sabriel - Freeform, Sam Doesn't Like Gabriel all that much, Sam Winchester Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sam and Gabriel Use Rough Sex to Cope, Sex, Slow Build, Slow Build Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Some canon compliance, Some dark moments, Spanking, Stolen Grace, Torture, Trauma, a little kinky, and it's hot, can't stop won't stop, i need to stop, season 13, spn au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-04-19 23:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14247582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffy_miracle/pseuds/fluffy_miracle
Summary: Sam isn't thrilled to be babysitting a broken archangel while his brother is off with a traitorous psychopath trying to save their mother and adopted Nephilim.What happens after was especially not part of the plan.





	1. not the best babysitter

If Sam was being honest, Gabriel was not his main priority. Not with Dean, Mom, and Jack lost in the ether somewhere while Sam was stuck in the bunker. Sam needed to be with Dean more than Ketch did. Yea, he got why Dean did it, but he trusted himself to have Dean’s back, not some defected Men of Letters who screwed up their mom. Sam sighed, running his hands over his face. He glanced back at the broken archangel and Gabriel literally flinched. Great. Just great.

“Let’s get you patched up.” Sam moved Gabriel like he had seen Ketch do. He firmly took him by the arm, used clear but direct language, and didn’t leave room for discussion. “Shower’s in here.” Gabriel’s mouth was less grotesque now that it was free of the stitches-- Sam would probably have nightmares about those. Sam prodded Gabriel into the bathroom, got the shower running for him, making sure the water was just right before he checked out. “Get clean.” Gabriel whimpered and dodged out of Sam’s way as the hunter strode back to the door. “Be done when I come back.” Sam sighed, shutting the door behind him. Gabriel wasn’t right… but Sam didn’t know how to help him right now.

Sam was off. Dean’s departure had rocked him, almost losing Dean to a crazy-ass goddess had rocked him, Dean going back to buddy-buddy with Ketch had rocked him. Sam sank into the chair, burying his face in his hands. Tears were threatening to fall, but he couldn’t afford to fall apart right now. He needed to keep it together for Dean. They had lost so many-- Sam couldn’t lose Dean too. He tried to focus on the positive-- that it would all work out and everyone would be home, safe and sound. He just ended up pacing instead.

He glanced at his watch, grimacing as he realized an hour had gone by. He hadn’t expected Dean to be back that quickly. He just got more and more anxious as he saw that time was indeed passing, drawing them closer to the moment when he would have to decide what to do next. Sam didn’t want to make that call. He didn’t want to factor in that there might be a supercharged Prince of Hell combing the earth for Ketch and Gabriel.

Oh shit. Gabriel. Sam got up from his chair and hurried down to the bathroom he had left Gabriel in. Knocking on the door, he called out the archangel’s name. When he got no response, he let himself in, relieved and worried that the door was still unlocked. “Gabriel?” He called out. The archangel wasn’t in the bathroom area where his tattered clothes were, but the shower water was still running behind the curtain. Not sure of what he would find, Sam put one hand on his gun as he reached out to grab the curtain. He pulled it back to reveal a naked archangel shivering in the corner of the bathtub, directly under the spray of ice cold water. The nervous dart of red-rimmed eyes reminded Sam that he wasn’t the only person hurting in this bunker.

Dean had been right. Sam sucked in a breath. He twisted the gauge towards the red patch, hoping that there was still some hot water in the bunker. Dean was right. Gabriel needed one of them here. Gabriel needed to get settled in. He was no less terrified of Sam than he had been since he arrived. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. I thought you were getting between me and Dean again.” It stung to admit that out loud. Sam thought he was well past the Mystery Spot, but Gabriel had fucked up that time. Sam hadn’t learned to live without Dean, no, he only learned to dread it more. The only time he had even been remotely had been okay was when he had settled down with Amelia and Riot. “I’m sorry.” He murmured again, testing the water. He was relieved to find the water warm. Gabriel looked startled by the sudden warmth, glancing over at Sam again with anxious eyes. His eyes looked so dim. Sam realized that Gabriel had been in hell far longer than he had been. Archangel or not: it had taken more than its toll. 

Sam took in Gabriel’s condition. While he was less bloody and less dirty-- he still wasn’t clean. Sam grabbed two washcloths and the bottle of body wash. Dean had splurged on Old Spice apparently. “I’m going to help you get clean.” Sam pressed a washcloth into Gabriel’s hands. After a few minutes, it became clear that Gabriel was only interesting in wringing the cloth in his hands and Sam was the only one actually doing any cleaning. Taking care of Gabriel’s wounds-- how was an archangel still so injured? Sam scrubbed Gabriel down until Gabriel’s skin was back to a semi-normal shade. Sam had him stand up when he shampooed his filthy hair. Gabriel tilted his head back and closed his eyelids as Sam washed God knows how many years worth of grime and blood out of his hair. “There.” Sam leaned back and gave Gabriel’s new appearance a critical eye. “I’ll wrap you up in towels right now. I need to stitch you up before I can dress you.” Gabriel whined, apparently still not using his voice, not that Sam blamed him. 

Sam blinked. He didn’t want to think about hell or his time there. If he had his soul when he first came back, he would be as passive and terrified as the archangel in front of him. He shook those thoughts from his mind, longing to forget the terror that was still buried deep inside him. He needed to keep it together. He had to keep it together. For Dean, for Mom, for Jack, and now for Gabriel-- Sam just had too much at stake to lose it now. “Gabriel, what the hell happened to you?” Sam asked, but Gabriel wasn’t looking at him anymore. Gabriel was staring over his shoulder, the look of fear almost as distracting as the fresh piss now on the floor underneath him. Sam glanced over his shoulder to see the grinning face of the last prince of hell.

“I happened to him, Sam Winchester.” Asmodeus smiled from the doorway. Sam went to turn, to shoot, to do something, but something struck the back of his head and everything went dark.


	2. not a great cellmate either

Asmodeus liked to talk. Sam actually hated the sound of the demon’s voice after days in and days out of hearing him fucking monologue everything. The longer he was in hell, the more Sam’s head pounded. Sometimes he thought his actual head was going to burst. There was something in the warding. He leaned his head back against the stone wall, hoping that he might actually get some sleep before Asmodeus brought him out of his cell again. He hadn’t seen Gabriel since he had woken up in hell, but Sam had a feeling Gabriel was worse off than he was. He hoped Dean, Mom, Jack, and yes, even Ketch had made it back all right.

Days passed and Sam was left in complete isolation. He almost missed the grating sound of the current ruler of hell’s voice. He almost missed Crowley. He definitely did not miss Lucifer. If Dean made it out, was he even looking for Sam? Was anyone looking for Sam? Or was he going to end up like Gabriel, a forgotten, snivelling mess? As much as he knew it wasn’t the archangel’s fault, Sam started to resent Gabriel for his current predicament. If only Gabriel was dead like Sam had thought. Sam felt guilty as soon as the thought first entered his mind, but he didn’t have much else to dwell on. He would actually not be here if he had not been babysitting the broken archangel who wasn’t any good to himself, let alone anyone else.

More days passed, finding Sam pacing. He made sure to work out, something to keep his mind active. He felt like he was going to go crazy, even though his headaches were fading. Finally, the door creaked open and Sam looked up to see the last person he wanted to share a cell with being shoved in: Gabriel. 

The archangel was in terrible shape. He was naked and shivering, looking everywhere but Sam as he scooted his battered body over the cold floor to an unoccupied corner.

“I have a proposition for you, Sammy WInchester.” Asmodeus drawled from the door that was already locked back up. “If you make life miserable for our mutual friend here, I’ll think about letting you out of your cell.” Asmodeus bared his teeth in something that Sam supposed was a smile. “I heard you two had a history-- what with him killing your brother a thousand times or so.” Sam sucked in a breath and Asmodeus smirked. “He’s all yours, whatever you want to do to him. I know you blame him-- it’s all his fault you’re here. I thought you were working with Ketch and this-- this thing, but you weren’t. I can see that now. You just want to get out of here and see if your brother is home safe. I want that too, Sam.” Sam scoffed. “I just need a little help disciplining our friend.”

“What’s the catch?” Sam growled, his voice catching from disuse. “There is always a catch.”

“I want Ketch.”

“He’s in another world.” Sam rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t get him out if I tried. I don’t want to get him out.”

“What can I say, I’m petty.” Asmodeus looked down at the hunter. “You can stay in here then and rot. You’ll be a pretty face to add to my collection. Ask the archangel what happens to pretty faces in hell.”

“I’m pretty sure I already know.” Sam’s face screwed up in disgust. “This isn’t my first time down below.”

“Australia is stunning this time of year.” Asmodeus nodded. “How was your honeymoon with Lucifer, Sam? I’m sure I can’t compare, but I can make it just as unforgettable.” The sides of his eyes crinkled as he smiled. He shifted his weight to the other foot and Gabriel flinched, bashing his head against the cold, iron bars. “That doesn’t count, Sam. I’ll be back for your answer in a couple of days,” the demon shrugged, “or so.” He walked out, leaving Sam to his silence and new cellmate.

Gabriel was a fidgeter. It made sense. As much as Sam had known about the guy, which wasn’t much, Gabriel had always been moving, hard to track, harder to pin down. Even in the base form, he still seemed to have that need to always be moving. 

“Gabriel, stop.” Sam was annoyed with him within the hour. Everytime their eyes would meet, Gabriel would flinch, or jerk away, or hide his face. It was childish, and if Sam was anywhere but hell, it would have been concerning to him. Sam didn’t know what was wrong with him. Ever since Gabriel had come back, his normal self seemed so distant. He was angry and tired. He wanted to hurt the archangel instead of to help heal the archangel. Looking at the pitiful creature now, Sam wasn’t sure what was left to hurt. Gabriel was in worse shape than when Ketch had brought him to the bunker. There was a lot of blood-- there had been a lot of torture. Sam shrugged off his flannel, crossed the cell, and tried to hand the shirt to the archangel, but Gabriel ducked low and darted over to the other side. His shivering had increased, more of a trauma thing than a temperature thing if Sam had any inclination as to how things in hell worked. His stomach flopped at what Asmodeus had insinuated.

This time Sam moved more quickly. He boxed the archangel in, against the cell’s bars. Gabriel whimpered, trying to strike at him, but his blows were so weak they barely registered to a hunter used to supernatural creatures trying to kill him on a regular basis. “Stop!” Sam shoved Gabriel down, holding his wrists in one hands. “I am trying to put clothes on you.” Sam wasn’t trying to hide his exasperation. Hell was trying and he wanted very much to be back in the Bunker with his family. Despite his irritation and past, he’d take Gabriel with him at this point. Sam shoved thin arms through too big sleeves and buttoned the shirt up. It wouldn’t help the injuries, but it might preserve a small sense of dignity in the archangel. Gabriel wasn’t broken, Sam had to amend his earlier thought, Gabriel was shattered. And all the demons and all the angels would not be able to help put him together again.


	3. never really good at making deals either

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get worse before they get better.

Asmodeus came back for his answer and Sam had given him the Winchester bravado answer.

“Go to hell.” He had sneered with more conviction than he felt. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hit Gabriel sometimes, it was that he knew it wouldn’t help. Hurting Gabriel was something he would have done without a soul, and even if being in hell was exhausting the morality he so desperately clung to, Sam needed to keep his soul. He needed to care.

“Why are you fighting who you really are, Sam? Once destined to be a leader of demons, the legendary Boy-King.” Asmodeus looked him up and down and laughed. “I could have told Azazel that you wouldn’t make it, not with how he tried to raise you. You’ve never done what people wanted you to do. Not your daddy, not Azazel, not Gabriel, and certainly not me-- It’s your tell, Sam. It’s your weak spot. If I tell you the key to your cage is beating the everliving tar out of this here archangel, you will not touch him on the principle that it’s what I would like. Well, Sam, I’ll be honest. I would like to see that, but if I want Gabriel to be beaten up...” Asmodeus’ finger twitched and Gabriel flew into the bars at a troubling speed. He was flung up into the stone ceiling, sending dust billowing out and down. He was dragged over next to the bars where Asmodeus stood. “I don’t need you to do anything if it’s what I really want. I just want you to see where you’re really at. You don’t give a shit about this creature. He’s caused you nothing but pain. The only good thing he did was die, letting you and your brother escape in the process.”

That wasn’t true. Something snapped inside of Sam, shifting his perspective. Gabriel had saved him with his porno/super secret plan to save the world. Gabriel glanced up, eyelashes fluttering as dark blood oozed down over one eye. Gabriel did need to be protected, even if Sam had to sacrifice a part of himself to do it.

“Leave him alone.” Sam stood up. “I’ll do it, but on three conditions.” Asmodeus nodded, listening. “I leave intact, soul and all.” Asmodeus narrowed his eyes, but nodded after a moment’s consideration.

“I think I can handle that.”

“And--” Sam cut him off. “Gabriel comes with me.”

“I still want Ketch.”

“Then I suppose you better find a way to get to Apocalypse world without me or Gabriel.” Sam folded his arms across his chest.

“Fine.” Asmodeus mirrored the movement. “If you make it good for me.” He jerked his chin towards the archangel bleeding on the ground. “I’d like to see him cry or at least piss himself.” He chuckled. “Shouldn’t be too hard for a hunter as renowned as yourself. He doesn’t even have grace to defend himself.” Asmodeus’ eyes gleamed. “I made it easy for you.” Sam turned from the bars, circling in on the weak archangel. He forced himself to go to a dark place. They weren’t getting out until Sam did what he needed to do. Gabriel caught the shift and forced his small body up, attempting to get away from Sam. Sam towered over him, cornering him easily. Gabriel flailed, trying to get away, trying to get Sam away. Sam’s hand came down, clenched into a fist, and a howl of pain was wrenched from Gabriel’s battered lips. His boots did equal damage to the archangel’s ribs. Sam paused to catch his breath and froze when he heard Gabriel manage one, small word. 

“No.” The pained whimper was enough to bring the hunter to his knees. Time stretched by like an eternity as Gabriel finally met his eyes, blinking back tears as he slumped against the bars. Sam stood up, tearing himself away.

“There.” Sam turned to Asmodeus. “I got him to talk. Let us go.”

“Absolutely.” Asmodeus turned the lock in the key and the cell door grated against the floor as the demon opened it for him. “You’ll have to carry him out.” He tossed his head back and laughed. Sam went back for his cellmate, avoiding looking directly at what he had done. Gabriel groaned in pain as he lifted him up. 

“I’m sorry.” Sam whispered, wiping blood away from Gabriel’s face. Tired golden brown eyes stared at his face. Sam wasn’t even sure if Gabriel could comprehend what he was saying anymore. “I had to get us out of here.” Gabriel blinked, shaking his head. 

“W-worse.” He whispered back. “M-much.” Sam’s stomach dropped at that. He had hurt the archangel, but he had also turned back into the soulless creature he feared becoming again. Sam had done so much wrong-- what was one more mark on a ledger he could never clear?

“I’m sorry.” He said it again. He lifted Gabriel up bridal style, trying to block out the pained groan the archangel let out at the movement. Asmodeus unlocked the door of the hallway and led the way that was hopefully out. Sam felt like his skin was crawling. He just wanted to be free of this place. At least they weren’t in the Cage-- he would have exploded a long time ago.

Asmodeus stepped to the side and the swarm of demons overwhelmed Sam and Gabriel easily. Gabriel was ripped from Sam’s arms and dragged away, thrown back into his usual cell.

“Asmodeus, you dick!” Sam shouted, but the last glimpse he saw of the Prince of Hell was him walking away, smile on his face, shaking his head. Sam tried to fight back, but the demons got some good hits in that left him stunned and dizzy. He was aware that they were dragging him some where he didn’t want to go if the look on Gabriel’s face was anything to go by. Two doors swung shut behind him and he was hoisted up on to a table, his hands and wrists shackled down. A knife came down from somewhere and Sam screamed. It was hours before he passed out, hours of torture and torment as demons gleefully cut into him. There seemed no real purpose to the pain other than it was greatly enjoyed: a great Winchester brought down so low. 

When Sam came to, every part of him hurt, even parts of him that he didn’t remember being touched. Just because he had passed out did not mean that the demons had stopped. He winced as he pulled himself up, only dressed in a t-shirt and boxers. He was probably as bloody as Gabriel had been when he lost saw them. His nerves felt like they were on fire as he pulled himself over to the sturdy wall, leaning his throbbing head against the cold stone. A rustle of movement caught his attention and he took in his new surroundings. He was in a new cell, one with a large grate that looked out into the throneroom of hell. He was on display and he wasn’t alone. Gabriel was hunched by the door, playing with the wrist of Sam’s shirt that still hung off him, still partially buttoned. 

“What now?” Sam had to rasp, catching the skittish archangel’s attention. Their eyes met and Gabriel’s eyes looked so sad that Sam’s stomach flopped. Things were worse. They were much, much worse. Gabriel had tried to warn him. He was still in there somewhere, even if only broken pieces remained. Sam knew he wouldn’t fare much better down here. The second time was unraveling him much more than his first visit. Sam closed his eyes and leaned his head back, sending a prayer to the one person who might be powerful enough to hear him. “Jack, it's Sam. Please help. Gabriel and I-- we're in hell. Asmo--” Sam jumped as Gabriel pressed two fingers to his temple, knocking him out before the archangel huddled back at the door.

"I was hoping Sammy might be awake for us all to play." Asmodeus frowned as he looked inside as his two favorite pets. "I wanted to tell him about how stupid he was for trying to make a deal with me. I don't make deals." Asmodeus narrowed his eyes, focusing on Gabriel. "I suppose I could just play with you for now. You have any new grace for me or I am going to have to use you for something else?"


	4. don’t like torture

There wasn’t much to do when the days that passed were literal Hell. Sam found he could zone out quite easily when Asmodeus left him and Gabriel alone. It seemed the new toy had lost its luster once Asmodeus had gotten to play with him a few times. Sam shuddered, forcing himself up into a sitting position. His boxers and shirt were tattered and filthy, stained with things he rather not think about. But he did think about it, all the time. There wasn’t much left to do but overthink about what was happening to him.

Sam scooted over as Gabriel came over. Asmodeus hadn’t resewn Gabriel’s lips, nor had he tried to seal Sam’s mouth in anyway, but the things he had done made both of them less inclined to talk. It was odd, locked away in the bowels of hell, Sam found himself getting closer to the broken archangel. Gabriel seemed to be getting closer to him too, content to press against Sam’s side when they were left alone. Gabriel’s eyes closed and Sam let him take those precious moments of sleep, his head slipping into Sam’s lap. Moments like these were rare, almost peaceful, amidst the chaos and torture.

Gabriel was different. Sam couldn’t put his finger on it. Even with all the terrible, no good, awful days they kept having, even with all the miserable nights that stretched out, stretching them out, scraping them thin-- Gabriel seemed to be improving. He was still jumpy as heck, especially when Asmodeus was around, but around Sam he was almost content. Yes, he flinched when Sam moved too fast and he didn’t like making eye contact, but when Gabriel would curl up next to him, Sam had a feeling he hated to put a name to: hope.

Gabriel woke up twenty minutes later, wiping his battered face. Sam could see the imprint of Asmodeus’ hand bruising his cellmate’s cheek. Sam hated seeing Gabriel treated in such a manner; he hated that he was powerless to save either of them from the treatment they both received.

“Gabriel.” He said softly, his head tilted back and eyes closed. He knew Gabriel heard him: the soft intake of breath and the way the archangel huddled closer to him. “They’re not coming for us.”

“I-I--I know.” Gabriel whispered. “N-no one c-comes.” He shivered against Sam’s stomach, burrowing into the little warmth there was between them.

“It’s time we got out ourselves.”

“H-how?”

“I don’t know yet.” Sam sighed. “But I’m not letting either of us spend the rest of our existence down here, not like this.”

“N-not s-s-o bad with y-you, S-sam.” Those words warmed Sam’s heart. It was dangerous to be friends down in hell, but what did it matter? Asmodeus already used them both to hurt the other. All that mattered was that at the end of the day, they still had each other.

They didn’t speak about escaping again over the next few days, but Sam couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was better than thinking about what was happening to him… again. Did he permanently have the word ‘BITCH’ scrawled across his forehead or something that only supernatural creatures could see? It had to be. He glanced above his head, trying to ignore the demon over him, pinning him down. His boxers were crumpled up by his head. Sam closed his eyes, trying to ignore the motion his body kept moving in. He glanced back to find Gabriel, but the cell was empty. For some reason, that panicked Sam more than the prince of hell taking his lack of grace out on Sam’s body. Sam wasn’t obvious as he glanced around, trying to see where Gabriel was. Gabriel had been covering for him, Sam knew that much, and he needed to make sure that wasn’t about to happen again. Sam needed to protect Gabriel too.

“I’m over here, Sammy boy.” Asmodeus smacked the side of Sam’s face, smiling at the whimper he got in reply. He thrust in and Sam keened in pain, still trying to scoot away. “You’re always a fighter.” Asmodeus said proudly. He jabbed his finger in one of the open wounds Sam sported from yesterday’s whipping. “I love the sounds you ma—.” Sam’s eyes widened as Asmodeus’ skull began to flicker and then flash with demonic light. Sparks shot from his eyes and the prince of hell died, slumping over on Sam. Sam shuddered under the weight of his body. He hurried to disconnect their bodies before pushing to get him off before Sam collapsed into an anxiety attack. They weren’t all that uncommon in the bowels of hell. Especially when his captor seemed intent on recreating the hits from the Cage. 

“S-sorry.” Gabriel was there, rolling Asmodeus off of Sam. “T-the only w-way.” Sam had been bait and hadn’t even known it: a distraction. “H-had to g-g-get you out-t.” Gabriel was sitting on the demon’s chest now— the look on his face was troubling even to Sam in his half-incapacitated state. Gabriel stared Asmodeus down, even though he was nothing but a meat suit. It was quiet, too quiet, until Gabriel screamed, stabbing the white-suited corpse until the suit was red. Sam retreated, crawling backwards, scrambling back to the cell, trying to get away from the angry archangel. He couldn’t do hell and an angry archangel with their twisting grace and awful faces blazing down at him as they judge him and find so terribly wanting— “Sam.” A soft hand was pressed against his hot cheek, smoothing back the tears and panic with a gentle push of grace. This grace was not scalding or electric. It was weak, feeble even, but soft, curling around his soul. Sam opened his eyes to see Gabriel curled up next to him in the cell, sleeping, waiting for him to be okay.

Sam didn’t care anymore that Gabriel was splattered in Asmodeus’ cold blood. He couldn’t quite grasp why he had just been so scared. He finally got what this all fucking meant and he felt all the way down to his broken toes. They were free!


	5. no family like my family

The next thing that Sam and Gabriel did was to secure the throne room. They blocked the doors so no demons could pass, warding and setting devil’s traps. Watching Gabriel, Sam learned a few new wordings he had never seen before. The things Gabriel must know. Sam couldn’t help but to be in awe of him. 

Gabriel was better. He could hold Sam’s gaze for a few extra seconds. His heart didn’t seem to be pounding out of his chest every second of everyday. They still needed to get out of hell, but they were taking their time, regaining their strength. Sam wanted to make sure they made it out of Hell when they set out. 

Gabriel found Asmodeus’ stash of his grace. Sam watched him break vial after vial taking the grace back inside of him. The way his eyes glowed just a little more golden after that, well, Sam made sure to not get caught staring. After all that filth, Gabriel was still holy. 

Gabriel’s wounds started to knit themselves together, but not all of them. They stood out in contrast. Gabriel reached for Sam and Sam jerked back, eyes wide. He expected pain from this perfect creature, suddenly aware of all the unclean things that clung to his soul and skin.

“Sam.” And Gabriel’s voice was earnest, moving to catch himself a hurting hunter. The grace didn’t sting. That was Sam thought to himself as Gabriel’s grace washed over him. Like Gabriel, some of his wounds couldn’t be healed by the archangel’s injured grace, but he was in a lot less pain than he had been a few minutes earlier. He drew in a ragged breath, grabbing to check that his ribs that had been digging into his lungs were now healed. Gabriel caught his eye, glowing eyes taking all of what Sam was in and not looking away. Sam sobbed out something and Gabriel reached, taking Sam’s soul into his own hands. Gabriel blew grace over the shining soul, washing away the doubts, the pain, the guilt. Even an archangel couldn’t take away the trauma, but this archangel could take away all the reasons Sam blamed himself.

Sam slumped back against the wall as Gabriel pulled away. His soul was safe inside of his body, wrapped in a cocoon of grace. Sam’s eyes were wide for another reason. Gabriel had given him a piece of his grace— Sam knew how much that cost after the weeks of watching what had happened to Gabriel in hell. “K-keep you s-safe.” Gabriel promised him, moving to his usual corner of the cell. He had the bloody archangel blade clenched in his hand most days and he picked it back up, eyes constantly searching the room.

When Gabriel spooked, he usually had a good reason. Sure enough, loud banging sounded at the doors. Sam whirled around and dragged his sore body back into the cell, ducking behind Gabriel who had the only weapon between the two of them. Demons usually failed to make it through the doors, but this time was different as the doors burst open in a show of supernatural strength. Castiel and Jack burst in, closely followed by Dean and Mary with Ketch bringing up the rear.

“Sammy!” Dean broke away from the pack, sprinting over to his brother. Sam cowered back and Gabriel stayed in between them, crouched low with his blade in hand.

“Gabriel, stand down!” Castiel was in front of Dean in an instant. “We’re here to help! We’re here to get you out.” Gabriel glanced back at Sam then back at the ragtag group. 

“Do I need to—“ Castiel shook his head when Jack came forward.

“That won’t help this.” Castiel replied. “Thank you, Jack, but Gabriel requires a gentler touch.” Jack nodded, his golden eyes, light and clear, seeing out the dim golden brown eyes of his uncle.

“I can heal your grace.” He announced. Gabriel flinched back, sensing that he was not the most powerful being in the room.

“Gabriel.” Sam realized it before the archangel did. “We’re being rescued, we’re getting out.” His touch was gentle but Gabriel jerked away as if it had stung.

“T-they came for y-you.” Gabriel whined with sad eyes as he took in the group that had stormed hell. “They c-came for y-you.” Gabriel shrank back to the back of the cell, tears welling up in his eyes. Sam didn’t know what to do as broken sobs echoed, pouring out of his cell mate and friend.

“Sammy?” Dean asked and Sam’s body seemed to move on its own.

“Dean.” He scrambled up and out, desperate to be safe again, protected once more by his big brother. 

“I’m here.” Dean clutched on to him like he’d never let Sam go again. “I’m so sorry, Sammy. I wasn’t there when you needed me most.” 

“Dean.” Sam repeated, clinging to Dean even after they got out of Hell. Mary was driving the Impala with Jack in the passenger seat. Dean and Sam sat in the back, the younger of the two refusing to let go of the older. Mary suspected that Dean was just as loathe to let Sam go in fear he would be taken away again. Sam and Gabriel were both a mess. Mary didn’t have a hope that the worst had not been done to them. They were hurt beyond what she knew how to heal. It broke her heart to know that this was not the first time. She wanted to protect her boys and it seemed that she didn’t know how.

Behind them, Castiel drove a car they borrowed along the way. Ketch was sitting next to him and Gabriel cowered in the backseat. He apparently remembered Ketch and while he seemed more inclined to listen to him than to Castiel, he didn’t seem to like him all that well either. Gabriel was wearing Castiel’s trenchcoat, too swamped by it to pretend he wasn’t in bad shape. Castiel wasn’t sure what they would do next or what they could do next. Gabriel’s grace was injured to the point of not being able to heal itself. Castiel wanted to get his brother somewhere safe so he could heal and recover. He needed to get Gabriel safe before Lucifer caught wind of the rumors on angel radio.


	6. no friends like my friends

When they all got back to the bunker, Sam and Gabriel went to their respective rooms. Dean watched over Sam, soothed his nightmares, made him something light to eat once he didn’t want to sleep anymore. Gabriel was watched over by Ketch who apparently was the only person that Gabriel was listening to. Castiel had Jack, trying to explain to the nephilim that while Gabriel was his uncle, Gabriel wasn’t quite aware and approaching him quick in both physically and spiritually would appear threatening. Castiel was trying to avoid using the word ‘broken,’ while Jack kept using the word ‘fix.’ Jack stayed with Mary when Castiel went to check on Gabriel.

“Go back to bed.” Ketch ordered, not unkindly, wondering if this was some demented form of redemption. He needed it. He craved it. He would dedicate his soul to seeing this being recover if it meant he could be saved. Gabriel wasn’t all that intent on pardoning right now. He didn’t give any indication that he even heard Ketch before he crawled out from under the bed and awkwardly sat on top of it. “Under the covers.” Ketch prompted. “Sleep will help. I’m guarding you now. The demon is dead.”

“S-Sam.” That was the only word Gabriel would say.

“He’s sleeping.”

“W-want to s-see.” That was new. 

“I’ll ask Dean.” Ketch came back a few minutes later. “Dean said no.” Gabriel fidgeting, fumbling with his covers before he briefly extended his finger. He curled his fingers back into a fist when he heard Ketch’s laugh, staring down at his covers. “Lie down, Gabriel. Sleep will help.” Ketch sat down in a chair against the wall. “I’ll be here.” Gabriel made a slightly indignant noise but obeyed, curling up on the bed, turning his back on the ex-Men of Letters. 

Ketch wondered again to himself if this was what redemption felt like.

Sam tossed and turned in his sleep. His arms would fling out, his hands looking to grab something. Dean sneaked in a pillow that was promptly rolled up and squished into Sam’s arms. That calmed him down some until he pressed his face into the pillow and then flung it away. Sam woke up with a start and a name on his lips.

“Gabriel.”

“Easy.” Dean was out of his chair, worrying over Sam. “Hes sleeping too.” Sam swung his long legs over the bed and got up, heading towards the door. “Whoa.” Dean tried to stop him or reason with him, but Sam stumbled through the door and out, heading for Gabriel’s room even though none of the bunker’s occupants had told him where the archangel was now being housed. It was a good thing for Sam that Gabriel was only a few doors down. His gait wasn’t all that unlike a newborn colt, an injury in his right leg that inhibited his normal gait. He almost crashed into Mary who hadn’t been able to sleep, so she had made food instead, deciding to bring some to her boys. Dean was coming after Sam, but waited as Mary approached her younger son.

“Sam?” She asked as Sam fumbled with the door next to her, pushing at it in frustration that it was taking him so long. He glanced at her for a second.

“Mom?” His eyes widened and he took a step back. “You’re here?” He squeezed the palm of his hand, a movement she barely caught as she nodded. “Mom.” Sam engulfed her in a huge hug, one she was happy to return. She had been afraid to touch Sam, she didn’t want to set him off. “I knew you were still alive.”

“I knew you were too, honey.”

“Gabriel?” Sam pulled back a little, refocusing on the door.

“He’s up.” She smiled. “He’s been asking for you. You’re all he talks about.” Mary thought that might make Sam smile, but instead he looked at the door, more serious before, his gaze full of deadly intent towards the door. “Here.” Mary opened the door for him before he broke it in half. “Why don’t you go see him?” She let Sam in, shutting the door behind him.

“Why did you let him in?” Dean came up behind her. “I thought we agreed to keep them apart.”

“You can’t keep them apart.” Mary shrugged. “I know that look.” She gave Dean a smile that hinted at sweet memories and bitter longings. “Don’t come between them, sweetheart, you won’t win.”

“It’s Gabriel.”

“And like you told me. Hell does a number. We found them hiding together; chances are they’ve been leaning on each other for some time now. They’re going to need each other to heal.” Dean nodded, wondering if that was what was between him and Castiel. Perhaps hell had brought them together too.

“Sam?” Ketch glanced over at the door as Gabriel pushed himself up. The relief on the younger hunter’s face was sharp enough that the ex-mercenary felt a prick in his heart. 

“Gabriel.” Sam staggered forward, falling, catching himself on the bed. “Gabriel.” He repeated. The archangel looked stunned, simultaneously scooting over to make room while reaching for Sam.

“S-Sam.”

“I would come for you, Gabriel.” Sam was curled around the small archangel, both dwarfing and surrounding him. “I would search heaven and hell.” His hand was gentle against Gabriel’s healing face and Gabriel couldn’t help put to nuzzle into the touch. If only Sam could see how gloriously his soul shone. His soul was far prettier than Gabriel’s grace in its current state.

“I know.” Gabriel whispered. Gabriel’s hand shook only a little as he reached out to touch Sam’s scruffy cheek. Sam let out a breath, wrapping an arm around his friend, pulling him close. Gabriel’s eyes were wide, but his fingers clutched at Sam’s clothes instead of pushing him away. “Y-you k-keep me safe t-too.” Gabriel hid his face in Sam’s chest as Sam rested his chin on top of his golden head. 

“Told you.” Mary smiled over at Dean. “We’ll let them figure it all out and support them every step of the way.”

“That doesn’t bother you?” Dean turned wide eyes on his mother, like a child seeking permission for something they didn’t have the words for. “Two men?”

“No.” Mary smiled. “Did Sam know him before?” She asked, knowing her elder son to not push the moment that had just transpired. 

“Yea, but I didn’t think he knew him that well.”

“I think they just had enough time to get to know each other.” Mary said carefully. “Hell has a way of making you sure about the people you love.”

“Yea.” Dean said softly, looking down at the floor underneath his booted feet.

“He’s been waiting for you to be ready.” Mary said softly.

“What?” Dean’s head shot up and Mary just smiled, moving to go inside of Gabriel’s room.

“Hello, Dean, I heard your prayer. Are Sam and Gabriel okay?”

“Yea, Cas, I think--” Dean jutted his chin in the direction of the two clinging to each other. They were already asleep. Ironic since it had taken Dean and Ketch hours to get their respective charges to sleep earlier. “I think they’ll be okay.”

“Sam carries traces of Gabriel’s grace.” Castiel’s surprise showed. “Gabriel carries traces of Sam’s soul. We were wrong to separate them.” Dean didn’t bother to ask what all that meant. They could figure it out later. Gabriel and Sam were connected by their experiences, as horrific as some of those experiences were. They needed to keep their connection to get through these early stages of healing. Dean wasn’t going to stand in the way of that. Dean had been standing in the way of too much already. “Dean?” The hunter jumped as Castiel lay a gentle hand on his back. His touch was warm even through the flannel, warm in a way that made Dean yearn.

“I haven’t been making you wait, have I, Cas?” Hell had been a long time ago, but some nights he relieved every awful moment. Castiel had come to hell for him. Castiel had carried him out. He had remade Dean, still keeping his dumb stubbornness and free will in tact. Castiel’s eyes widened now, taking in exactly what Dean was asking. That was all the answer Dean needed before he whispered. “I’m sorry.”


	7. Jack the therapist

Days passed at a normal pace yet Sam and Gabriel found themselves in the same patterns. Huddled together in a room, dreading the time when someone would enter. Sam tried to go easy on his family, but sometimes Dean or Cas would talk too gruffly or move too quickly. Sam didn’t like it either, but he could hide it way better than Gabriel could. Soon only Mary or Ketch would visit, but still, it was hard. Sam and Gabriel were used to be visited and then being tortured. Being visited and being loved on and cared for was so foreign. It was nice, but overwhelming at times.

“We can’t stop working on fighting Lucifer.” Dean said to Castiel. “Gabriel and Sam aren’t ready, but we’ve got to stay on their toes. I don’t know what to do with either of them.”

“I can help.” Jack piped up. He still wasn’t allowed around Sam or Gabriel, but he wanted that to change. Sam had always been so kind to him. And he wanted to return that favor. Whatever had happened to his uncle, Jack wanted to fix that.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Castiel said as softly as he could.

“Why not?” Dean interrupted him. “Sam always stuck up for you, he has always had a soft spot for you, you might be good for him.”

“Thanks, Dean.” Jack smiled. He excused himself and hurried down to Sam and Gabriel’s room. Mary was just leaving and she held the door open for Jack, her eyes telling him everything she couldn’t say in front of the two recovering men.

Sam was on the floor talking to Gabriel in a low, soft tone. The archangel was squeezed in between the bed and the end table, a distant look in his eyes. Jack came in and shut the door, sitting on the bed. 

“Jack.” Sam gave him a strained smile. “It’s good to see you.” Gabriel jumped at something neither of them could see, and Sam softly rubbed Gabriel’s shoulder in response. 

“You love him.” Jack realized. Sam shook his head. His long hair was greasy from going unwashed for so long. Sam would never leave Gabriel’s side, only leaving to use the bathroom. 

“We’re just friends.”

“It’s okay.” Jack frowned. “There is nothing wrong with love. He loves you too. It’s why he’s acting like this— he’s afraid he will lose you to Dean and your mother, even to me and Castiel.”

“So he’s pretending?” Sam scrunched up his nose, giving Gabriel a quizzical look before looking to Jack for confirmation.  
“No.” Jack shook his head. “He truly is struggling. He doesn’t--” Jack paused, cocking his head. 

“Wha--?” Sam jumped as Jack was shoved backwards by some unseen force. Jack toppled over before rolling back up to his feet, his hands out in front of him, eyes glowing. Sam glanced behind him to see Jack’s gaze was on Gabriel. “He didn’t mean it.” Sam was trying not to cower as he stepped in between archangel and Nephilim. “Don’t hurt him.”

“I’m not.” Sam jumped, moving away as Gabriel’s annoyed voice came from behind him. His eyes were glowing and his body was completely cleansed of any of the marks Asmodeus had left.

“Gabriel.” Sam went to reach for Gabriel but stopped himself. “You-You’re better.”

“Kid thinks I should take better care of you instead of you always care of me.”

“That’s not what I said.” Jack protested. “I want you two to be happy.”

“And that can’t happen if Sam’s the one babysitting me.” Gabriel stood up, glancing back at his hiding spot as if he wanted nothing more than to crawl back and hide there. Sam didn’t blame him. Sam felt like hiding himself. It was like Gabriel had taken their connection and severed it, leaving Sam to find out just how dependent he had been on the smaller man, how depedent he had been on taking care of him. 

“Don’t leave.” Sam hated how his voice turned to pleading.

“It’s what’s best.” Gabriel said firmly.

“No, it isn’t.” Jack spoke up, frowning. “That’s wrong. Don’t you dare leave him.”

“Are you going to stop me, kid?” Gabriel’s wings flared out and Sam choked back a cry, covering his eyes. Gabriel’s wings tucked in immediately before Gabriel took them from sight. He glanced at Sam as if he was going to go to him. He almost did, hesitating. “You don’t know what that demon made me-- made us-- do.”

“Sam needs you too.” Jack said softly. “You need to heal and so does he. Separating will only make it worse.”

“Kid--”

“It’s Jack.” Jack interrupted. “Your grace may be healed, but it’s not full-strength.” Jack paused, considering his next words. “If you leave him now, you won’t get another chance.” He said softly. Gabriel glanced back at Sam, softening even though he was still bristling at Jack’s words.”And yea, I could stop you, but he needs you to choose him, not be forced to choose him.”

“I’m right here.” Sam mumbled, pressing his hands to his face. He felt light-headed at the revelations Jack kept uttering. He sank to the floor, pressing back into the spot Gabriel had vacated even though he didn’t fit as well. He felt faint at the thought of Gabriel leaving him. There was no way the archangel was going to choose him. He was too-- too-- he was too himself and all that entailed. He knew this had been too good to true. He should have known that he would send Gabriel running sooner than later.

“Stop! Just stop.” Sam’s hands were pulled away from his face and he found himself face to face with a certain archangel. “Get out, kid, I’ll thank you later.” Jack made his retreat while Gabriel added privately to Sam, “... in like a millennia or so.” Sam didn’t laugh, but to be fair, neither of them had left since before hell. “I’m not leaving you.” Gabriel hit his knees, wrapping his arms around Sam, letting the hunter cry on his shoulder. “You really think I’d fight to protect you that much just to ditch you topside? I’m hurt, Sam, I’m really hurt.” Sam did snort at that. “Come on.” Gabriel got Sam up, getting him back on to the bed. This time it was Gabriel curled around the hunter, holding him safe as Sam slowly calmed down.

“You’re going to stay?” Sam whispered, fingers curling around Gabriel’s shirt.

“I don’t know why you’d want me to stay now that I’m back to normal,” Gabriel deflected, “but yea.”

“Same reason you want me around.” Sam deflected right back at him, but he apparently said something right as Gabriel squeezed him a little more.

“I do.” Gabriel admitted softly. 

“I do too.”

“Does this mean we’re married?” Sam snorted again and Gabriel smiled, happy he could make the hunter almost laugh. He was determined to make Sam full on laugh again-- if anyone deserved to be happy it was Sam Winchester.


	8. pull my hair and tell me you love me

Gabriel was sticking around. Things were different though. Sam and Gabriel weren’t attached at the hip anymore. They very rarely were seen touching except for at night when they retired to the same bed. Gabriel didn’t need to sleep anymore, but he slept all the same, allowing himself this small comfort with Sam. It was time to prove to the rest of the household that he and Sam were indeed just friends. Gabriel saw how Sam reacted when Dean implied they were together. He saw the look on Sam’s face or how quickly Sam would deny it and Gabriel felt something dark twist inside of him every time.

Yes, they were close friends that shared countless traumas, but they were still just friends. Gabriel would go out on the weekends to pick up sexual partners, not coming home until the weekend was over. Sam buried himself into hunts and research all weekend until Gabriel was back. Gabriel never could admit that he didn’t actually pick anyone up, he just let Dean to the assuming and the talking about it. Sam seemed to be shrinking each time it was brought up. That never made much sense to Gabriel since Sam seemed to be upset when Dean assumed they were together, yet more upset when Dean assumed Gabriel had been with someone else. This went on for a few more weeks until Gabriel came home to find things had drastically changed.

“How are you?” It was Monday morning and Gabriel had cornered Sam in the hallway. Sam’s door had been locked when he had come home, so he had sat out in the hallway until the hunter woke up.

“I’m fine.” But Sam wouldn’t look at him. 

“Sam.” Gabriel placed his hand on Sam’s arm and he stopped, finally looking at the archangel.

“I can’t do this every weekend. I thought I could, but I-I hate sharing you. And you’re not even mine.” Sam shook his head, trying to pull away.

“Wait, wait.” Gabriel wrapped himself around Sam in an attempt to keep him there. He needed to know where this conversation was heading before Sam decided to leave the conversation. What Jack had said about Sam concerning him started to make a whole lot more sense. Realization flooded the archangel as all the little pieces connected to make one big picture. “You’re having feelings?! Not that that’s bad, but I thought we were just going to deal with everything with denial and shit.” It was a joke, but Sam didn’t take kindly too it.

“I have to shower.” Sam shouldered past the archangel, igniting the faint buzzing under his skin as they briefly touched. 

“Fine. If you want to shower…” Gabriel snapped his fingers, transporting them back to the shower. The water was already running, steam billowing up as the water streamed down just right, deliciously hot. Sam glanced around, down at himself, and then back to Gabriel: the clear culprit as to why they were suddenly being soaked in the shower stark naked together. “You’re in the shower, now let’s talk.” Gabriel leaned forward. Sam was rocking back and forth in his mind and the archangel could tell. Would Sam run or would he lean forward too, would he fucking fight? Sam leaned forward ever so slightly, nostrils flaring, eyes darkening as his gaze ran over Gabriel’s bare body. It had been a bold mood to snap them in here naked, something they both avoided as much as possible since hell, especially together. Sam tried to pull himself up as much as possible, almost straightening up to his full height.

“What? You didn’t get enough sex this weekend?” Sam sneered, but Gabriel finally say it, the flicker of hurt and want that warred across Sam’s face before he managed his cold, disinterested mask.

“Is this what that is?” Gabriel could sneer too, in fact, he could be the coldest creature in the universe even though it physically pained him all the way to his grace to be cruel to Sam. “You just want to fuck,” he hurled that lewd word like an insult, “me like back in hell.” 

Sam snorted low, an ugly replacement for his laugh, that laugh Gabriel so wanted to bring back. Sam could almost settle for that, if it meant Gabriel would never know. “Sammy…” Gabriel used the name purposefully, wanting to rile up the hunter into being honest.

“Shut the fuck up, Gabriel.” Sam snarled low. “You’re just going to keep doing whatever the hell it is that you do, so just leave me and my disgusting ‘feelings’ out of it.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Gabriel moved forward, cornering Sam into the corner of the shower. The spray beat down on Sam’s back, throwing droplets everywhere, especially into Gabriel’s face. He wiped his face before he reached up, a hesitant hand pressed against Sam’s check. The hunter froze, a quick exhalation as he leaned into the touch despite his defensive stance. “I never said anything about your feelings being disgusting.” Gabriel said in the calmest voice he could muster with his heart beating wildly in his chest. Sam fucking Winchester liked him? That felt too good to be true. Gabriel stepped closer, aware of how much shorter he was compared to Sam. His hand slid down to grip Sam’s shoulder, anchoring himself. “Catch me.” And he jumped. 

Sam lunged forward, pulling him up. Gabriel wrapped his legs around Sam’s hips, rubbing their more intimate parts together. Sam gasped into his ear and Gabriel gave him a devilish grin.

“LIke I said. “ Sam shoved Gabriel up against the shower wall, and didn’t that make Gabriel’s cock twitch in definite interest. “Didn’t you have enough sex this weekend?” There was a knowing look in Sam’s eyes and Gabriel realized Sam was after a confession.

“Don’t ever be a priest, Samsquatch.” Gabriel whispered. “You’re a little intense in the confessional.” Gabriel liked how Sam’s hair hung when it was wet, wrapping his fingers into the many strands, pulling ever so slightly until the hunter let out a soft moan. He liked how Sam’s eyes went dark when he looked at him, like Gabriel was something for him to devour. Things had been rough in hell, particularly between them at points when the demon just liked to watch. Gabriel had been carrying guilt around about that; he hadn’t realized Sam missed it and hated it all at the same time. There had always been something there between them. “I haven’t had sex with anyone since hell.” Gabriel finally admitted. “Never felt right with anyone but you.”

“You were so out of it in hell.” Sam hissed, shoving him back up against the wall. Gabriel laughed, leaning back. 

“I still remember.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Gabriel pushed their cocks together, smirking as Sam hardened up a little more underneath him. “I’m sorry you’ve been punishing yourself instead of putting me back in my place where I belong.”

“Can we switch?”

“Will you fuck me?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes.”

“Thank you, Gabriel.” Gabriel used his hands in Sam’s hair to pull a quick kiss from Sam’s lips. 

“On your knees.” Gabriel didn’t want to rush off to rough sex just yet. Sam had admitted to feelings. Jack had alluded to feelings. Gabriel had always had a soft spot for Sam and Sam might have a soft spot for him.

“Hold on.” Sam tilted forward and Gabriel’s hands came free from his hair to clutch at his neck. Sam met his eyes for a brief moment before he gave him a deeper kiss. “Tell me this isn’t from what Asmodeus made us do.”

“Asmodeus pulled at things that already were. He could trick, but he couldn’t create something that wasn’t already there.” Gabriel soothed. His heart wasn’t beating as fast, his voice didn’t shake as much.

“You like me too?” Gabriel’s cheek suddenly felt flushed and he looked away, slowly nodding his head. He half expected Sam to drop him, even though he knew Sam wouldn’t after all they had been through together.

“Goddamn.” Sam breathed, faintly echoing the shadow of a ghost that haunted them yet brought them together. Sam moved in again, soft kisses against Gabriel’s lips that eventually trailed down his throat. “I think I’m going to fuck you now.” Gabriel made a happy noise, tilting his head back to give his lover more access.

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for delayed chapters. I am officially on summer vacay for life! (unless I decide to do more school but that won't be for a long while). I also wanted to make sure I finished a few other ones.
> 
> This one is probably about half way through with some excitement coming up. We're getting to the part where the title will really come into play. It's going to be fun. This chapter was an odd but fun chapter to write: it signals some of the angst coming to an end and the healing picking up and then boys being able to bounce back in typical Winchester fashion, but maybe even better because now there's this whole archangel boyfriend thing going on.


	9. Sam Winchester Cries After Sex

Gabriel stepped away from Sam, his legs more than a little shaky.

“Wow.” He said breathlessly and slipped, grabbing the shower curtain and taking it down with him. Sam glanced down at him, all tousled and dazed from their impressive shower sex, and smirked.

“If you’re ready for round two, I’ll meet you in my room.” Gabriel swore, hoisting himself up, muttering about hunters and their fucking penises. “I’m sorry, what was that? You want your mouth all over my--”

“Shit, Sam, your family could hear you.”

“You think you’re going to be my dirty, little secret.” Sam stepped forward with a glint in his eye. “Like hell.” He moved forward faster than Gabriel expected and swatted the archangel on the ass. Gabriel yelped, but didn’t that reddening handprint make him all the more ready for round two in Sam’s room. He didn’t like to think about their time in Hell, but it had changed them both. They were a little more broken, but they were a little more tough, a little more rough, and certainly more greedy. Gabriel didn’t feel like he was going to break when Sam was rough with him, in fact, it helped him to know that if he did, Sam would have his back, just like he did in Hell. However, the sex was good. It was exercise; it included Sam; and it got rid of all the itching under his skin. 

“Fuck me again, Sam.” Gabriel pleaded, not caring how wrecked he sounded. “You want your family to hear me screaming for you to fill me up? I’ll do it, just fuck me again, please.”

“Fuck, Gabe.” Sam’s eyes were wide and his hand was on his cock, slicked with spit and sliding up and down at a promising speed. 

“You want me on your bed, all spread out and filthy?” Gabriel purred. “Or do you wanna bend me over right here on the floor or even against the wall again?” Sam laughed at that. They had just done that position in the shower and while it had been a-fucking-mazing, Sam did not have the stamina for that position again. He liked the idea of holding Gabriel down, fucking him until he couldn’t cry for Sam to move anymore, filling him up just how he--

What the hell was wrong with him? This wasn’t who he was. This was some twisted monster that had managed to escape its cage in hell. “Sam? Sam!” Gabriel was there, hands on his face, making Sam look down at him. “Hey, we’re okay, you’re okay.”

“What’s wrong with me?” Sam whispered, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. “I want to hurt you.”

“You’re not hurting me, sweetheart. We just don’t have sex like everyone else. It’s still weird for us.” Gabriel tried to explain it best he could. Gentle sex, hell, lovemaking seemed too far out of reach for either of them: he didn’t think either of them would believe it. This sex, this rough, raw, primal shit, that was shit they’d feel for days and they’d know it was real. They’d know it wasn’t a trick or an illusion. “Hell fucked us up and we’re dealing how we know best. It’s okay. I like it when you’re rough. I know you’re real when I feel you for days afterwards.” Gabriel comforted him. “You’re not doing anything that I’m not asking for. Hell, I’ve been begging here, Sam, and you’ve been delivering.”

“Do you love me?” Sam asked suddenly. There was no lust in his eyes, no need to take Gabriel right then and there. And while parts of Gabriel were disappointed by this turn of events, he knew they needed to have these talks, just as much as they needed to fuck through certain feelings. Gabriel didn’t mind Sam holding him down: those strong arms held him together just as often if not more.

“Yea, Sam, I love you.” It was too soon for words like this or maybe it wasn’t soon enough. Gabriel knelt on the floor with his giant hunter, cradling his head in his hands. Sam was the most precious thing in the world to him. He manifested some grace, pushing it into Sam’s soul. A few more tears slid down Sam’s face and Gabriel’s thumbs were quick to wipe them away. “I love you so much.” Sam looked like he had questions, but instead he nodded, turning his head to kiss Gabriel’s right palm and then turning his head the other way to kiss the left.

“I love you too.” They were quiet except for Sam’s labored breathing as he struggled for composure. “This isn’t wrong?” And Gabriel wasn’t sure what part Sam was asking about, but it didn’t matter. Nothing about Sam would ever be wrong for him.

“No, Sam.” Gabriel leaned in, Sam’s face nearly against his neck, as he kissed the edge of Sam’s forehead, freshly shampooed hair wet against his lips. Sam smelled like the ocean with a hint of cucumber. Gabriel inhaled deeply, his hands running through Sam’s hair to wrap his arms around the hunter’s shoulders: an even more intimate position than the one they had held in the shower. Sam’s breath was warm against his neck and chest as Sam pressed his lips against Gabriel’s skin, whispering something that Gabriel didn’t want to make out just yet. Sam loved him back. That was enough for him.

There was a loud knock at the door and Gabriel shushed Sam comfortingly, not liking how hard the hunter had flinched at the sound. “What is it?” He called out as Sam snuggled back against his chest, curling up on the floor to more properly fit. He hoped Jack was happy-- he was taking care of Sam now, not that he would want to be anywhere else.

“Ah, if you two are done…” Dean began somewhat hesitantly. Gabriel had to grin. He was certainly not Sam’s dirty, little secret after all. So the whole bunker might have heard them christian their sex life back on earth-- it had been fucking good sex. “We have an issue out here. It’s Michael. And Lucifer. And whoever that chick angel is who was helping him.”

“So it’s an archangel problem.”

“Yea, but worst than the one Sam has.” Dean joked and Gabriel snorted.

“I’m gonna--” Sam groaned, burying his head down more towards Gabriel’s stomach. “They all know, don’t they?”

“Wanna be my boyfriend, Sam? We all might die.”

“Is that your attempt at ‘this could be our last night on earth’?” Sam sat up, his ears, cheeks, and chest pink with embarrassment.

“Only if your answer is not along the lines of spending it with self-respect.”

“I think I’ve lost most of that.” Sam said. “Anyway, I’d rather spend the night with you.” He said somewhat shyly. “So yes, I’ll be your boyfriend.”

“Great!” Gabriel leaned over and pecked Sam on the lips. “Good thing I like all this staking you keep doing from behind or else this would never work out.”

“God, Gabe.” Sam groaned. “Let’s at least make sure the world isn’t ending right away before we get back to that.” 

“Dirty boy.” Gabriel purred, grinning. 

“We should get dressed.” Sam stood up and put some distance between them before they could get distracted. He wrapped a towel around his waist and left the bathroom, heading for his room. Gabriel sighed and snapped his fingers, fully dressed once more.

“What was the issue again, Deano?” He sauntered out of the bathroom. “Big brothers are such a cock block.”

“GABRIEL!”

“Sorry, Sam.” But if he was being honest, Gabriel was not all that sorry. In fact, he felt rather pleased. And if they all did die in a blaze of glory, well, he had sex with Sam, hell, he had a relationship with Sam. And boy, didn’t that make him feel five parts proud and five parts scared.


End file.
